Avarice
by UnluckyAmulet
Summary: A Reader Insert. In which a lot of money is spent, and Ludwig is none too happy about it.


Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

Okay, okay. So normally, I would never post a Reader Insert here, but the website I originally put it on FUCKING DELETED IT due to a crackdown on sexual content, despite the fact people upload shots of their dicks on there on a daily basis. Please don't ride my ass about how you find Reader Inserts weird/creepy/etc. If you don't like them, click the back button. But I actually put some effort into this story, so I'm posting it here. M for sex and language.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"Vhat the hell is zis?!"<p>

You cringe at the loud bellowing that unexpectedly rips through the air, and glance up with an exasperated expression. Over your shoulder you spy a very grumpy-looking Ludwig, who is having trouble getting into the room because of the sheer abundance of shopping bags in the way. You roll your eyes pointedly.

"They look very much like shopping bags to me, but maybe that's supposed to be a trick question."

"You _know_ what I mean!" he snaps, poking one of the bags with his boot. "Look at zis!"

"Hey, hey, don't kick that! I just bought the box set!" you whine, a bit like a child asking why they can't have more dessert.

"Zis is insane!" Ludwig rants, looking rather like a man gradually losing his capacity to argue like a rational human being. Personally, you blame it all on Feliciano. It certainly has nothing to do with you, nope. "You just vent shopping last week!"

"That was an emergency!" you say, the 'well duh' tone clear in your voice. "I had nothing to wear!"

Ludwig's face goes red for a moment, and he takes in a deep breath, obviously counting down from ten. You watch him with an irritated expression- honestly; he can be such a complete drama queen at times. You don't complain about his excessive drinking half the amount he bitches on about your excessive spending. When you're feeling down, you go and buy yourself something nice, wandering through the polished marble and spraying fountains of whatever shopping center you fancy, loving the feel of bags rustling at your knees and the rush of finding something you like. Is that such a crime?

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear zat," Ludwig says, speaking slowly in a would-be calm voice, as if trying to reason with an insane person. "But ze point is, you can't just go spending money whenever you feel like it!"

"God, I didn't buy _that_ much..."

"Oh, really?"

Scoffing, Ludwig leans down and grabs the nearest bag, riffling through it until he locates the receipt, hidden away beneath layers of brightly-coloured paper. He yanks it out and stares down at it, mouth hanging almost comically open.

"Vhat...how can one dress cost that much?!"

"It's designer, Ludwig," you sigh, trying to be patient.

You've explained the concept to him several times before, but for a smart man, Ludwig just doesn't seem capable of wrapping his head around it. Now Ludwig is pouring through the other bags, snatching up receipt after receipt, his expression going from flabbergasted to practically catatonic with disbelief.

"I can't believe zis! Do you have any concept of money at all?!"

"There you go, nag, nag, NAG!" you chant, making a flapping motion with your hand, to indicate a mouth opening and closing ceaselessly. Ludwig seems less than amused- his cheeks pink, he stands so abruptly that you nearly topple of the sofa in surprise.

"Zat's it! I'm taking all zis- zis JUNK back right now!"

Whoa.

Abort.

Abort!

"Ah, what?!" you yelp, scrambling to your feet and blocking the front door with your body, waving your hands in front of you like some kind of mime. "Ludwig, be reasonable, ja?"

For some reason, you don't know why, you always lapse into clumsy German when you're trying to get Ludwig to do something. You're not sure why, but it seems to work, no matter how badly you mangle the words or grammar.

"Surely you're not going to take back all these perfectly good clothes without seeing if they look good on me first, richtig? I mean, I did need some new stuff to wear, after all, after I donated some of my older ones..."

Ludwig pauses, looking chagrinned, but you know that he likes to think of himself as the pinnacle of all that is logical and efficient, and you can tell by the way he glances at the bags with a flick of his icy-blue eyes that he doesn't particularly want to drag all of them down to his car.

"Fine. Just...hurry up," he sighs, sitting down on the sofa with a fatigued air, as though he expects this whole thing to be a tedious affair. You'd be offended if you didn't have a certain ace up your sleeve...

Smiling, you grab the bags and haul them up, striding towards the bedroom. This is going to be way too easy...

* * *

><p>"Okay, ready?"<p>

Ludwig, still stationed stubbornly on the sofa, merely answers you with a grunt. You roll your eyes for what feels like the fiftieth time that day. He can be so surly…

"Here it is!"

You step into the living room in a pair of jeans with artful scuffs running up and down it in small patches, a striped sleeveless shirt that is cinched at the waist and new trainers. Your old ones were starting to get really run through in the soles, after all. Plus, these have stars on!

"What do you think?" you ask, walking along the path from the doorway to the sofa like you're on a catwalk. Blame all your consumption of trashy TV shows. "See, these jeans are really nice, don't you think? It's really hard for me to find jeans that don't make me look weird!"

"Ja, I remember," Ludwig grumbles, recalling a horrifying shopping trip with you where you tried on at least five pairs of jeans and rejected them all (too short, too long, too tight, too loose and it 'made your butt look big'. He actually quite liked that pair, but was smart enough not to say so.)

You do a small pirouette, the bracelet on your wrist tinkling softly. Though this isn't the nicest thing you've bought, you don't want to bring out the big guns too early, so to speak. Better warm Ludwig up to the idea of new clothes, first. His eyes skim over you for a minute, and you can tell by the way he's pursing his lips that he can't find a fault with anything you have on, much to his frustration.

"Okay, so zhey are…nice," he mumbles, rubbing his hands on his jeans as if trying to warm them up. "Vhat else do you have?"

"Be right back!" you grin, trying not to sound too cheerful in case he smells a rat.

Smirking, you poke through the bags as you simultaneously peel off the top, tossing it casually onto your bed. You're so tempted to reach for the sparkly, smaller bag tucked away in the corner, but must resist the temptation for now. You're quite enjoying putting on this impromptu fashion show, since usually Ludwig whines like a five-year-old if he's stuck with a lot of shoppers for too long. You've tried pointing this out to him, but he denies it. Typical.

"Okay, how about this?"

You step back into the living room in knee-high boots, embroidered shorts and a slogan T-shirt, a new silver necklace glinting between your breasts. Ludwig's tongue darts out of his mouth to moisten his bottom lip, before looking away.

"I bet zhose boots were expensive," he huffs instead.

"Well, yeah, but what good ones aren't?" you say innocently, turning to the side so he can admire the buckles and such running up the side, looking smart and shiny in the bright lights of the living room. "Plus, they're nice quality leather, so they'll last for ages! If you think carefully about it, it's an investment!"

Ludwig tuts under his breath, but you know that he appreciates a good pair of boots and if he said otherwise, all he has to do is look down to see proof of his hypocrisy. Plus, well…they Iare/I knee-highs.

"Fine, fine." Ludwig says eventually, his voice terse since he knows that you know you've got him cornered there. "Are zhere more left to go?"

You shake your head, biting the inside of your cheek to resist the temptation to laugh.

"Just one more I think you should see, okay?"

He groans and flops back against the sofa, and, though he doesn't notice it, his tank top rides up slightly, revealing just a teasing sliver of his insanely toned stomach. You gulp and walk off, hoping that he'll definitely fall for this. Well, two out of three ain't bad.

Grabbing the third bag, you take in a deep breath and pull out the secret weapon, slipping them on once you've removed the rest of your clothes. The designer dress falls like water against your thighs, and it really is a nice colour on you. Expensive or no, you're not sorry that you grabbed it- clothes like this are the sort that, if you don't buy them, you'll look back on it and wish that you'd just taken the risk after all.

"Lud?" you call, stepping into the living room once more, footsteps softer since you didn't bother to put on any new shoes.

He stops fidgeting with the remote and stares at you for a moment, looking disarmed, which makes him seem younger than he actually is. You can't help but smile a bit- when he lets his guard down, Ludwig looks almost downright vulnerable.

Then he goes and opens his big mouth.

"Zat's ze designer dress, isn't it?" he frowns.

"Well, yeah,"

"It's nice, but it's so much money for one thing! You could get at least three other dresses for the amount you spent on zat one!"

"But I don't want another dress!" you complain; only realising how whiny you sound after the words leave your mouth.

"It's too much money!" Ludwig said, shutting his eyes in annoyance. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to take it back."

You sigh and slowly reach up, fingers swiftly undoing the buttons on the front of the dress, and a smirk unfurls on your face as the fabric falls to the side, revealing your lovely nice lacy, black, push-up bra.

"Well, what about this?" you ask, moving a bit closer.

"Hm?"

Ludwig makes the mistake of glancing over at you…and getting a face full of cleavage.

"I…zats…" he splutters, colour rising to his pale face.

"I got this today, too…do you like it?" you ask, leaning back a little and pretending to look anxious. "I mean, I THINK bras are returnable even if you've tried them on…what do you think, this was pretty pricey, should I take this back to the shops too?"

"N-nein…" Ludwig coughs, and he suddenly looks a little sweaty. You grin evilly to yourself. "It's…um…your best… breasts…I mean-!"

"I'm glad you like it, Ludwig!" you say, smiling encouragingly before your expression falls. "But there's one thing I'm not quite sure about…"

"And…" Ludwig clears his throat. "And vhat is that?"

You lean back, scratching the back of your head in an exaggerated show of uncertainty, though it's hard to play at being coy with your boobs hiked up as they are. Still, they look damn good and that automatically makes it worth it.

"Does this bra match these?"

Ludwig nearly falls over backwards as you finally finish unbuttoning the rest of the dress and push aside the cloth, showing off the matching panties that came with the bra. Of course, they are black and lacy too, and quite a bit racier than what you'd normally wear around the house.

"I just can't decide, man…what do you think, Ludwig? Do you like-mmph!"

It seems like the grumpy blonde has finally cottoned on to what you're doing, because he veritably leaps off the sofa and marches up to you, crashing his mouth against yours. Cheering in your head, you lean forwards and press your lips to his, tongue already eagerly pushing its way into his mouth. Though you were sort of winging it on the last part of your plan, you knew this would be the inevitable outcome and can't really say you mind. Ludwig shoves the open dress off your shoulders, so it lands on the floor, puddling by your ankles in a silky heap. Feeling a bit exposed, you pull back a bit and dodge his hands.

"Ah-ah," you taunt, shaking your head. You nod at his tank top and jeans with a sly look.

Ludwig returns it and slowly peels off the black vest, giving you another mouth-watering glimpse at his torso, which is just slightly sweaty and every bit as amazing as you remember it. He tosses the shirt aside, using one hand to slick back his hair. You growl slightly in the back of your throat- what a tease! (Not like you have room to talk, but still!)

"Is zhis vhat you vanted, hmm?" he asks throatily, and you laugh.

"Come on. With a body like yours, you've got to show it off more."

"I could say the same for you," he purrs, moving towards you and kissing you again, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you off your feet so he can get at you neck, licking and biting it in equal measures.

A yip leaves your mouth as he bits a bit too hard on your shoulder, which he licks with an apologetic air, tongue laving over the slight indentation.

"Fuck, Lud!" you hiss, giving him a half-hearted glare.

"Sorry," he says, not really sounding sorry at all.

Your angry retort is bitten off by a grunt of pleasure when he licks your neck, tongue flicking over a particularly sensitive spot there, sending tingling bolts shooting down your skin like tiny fireworks. You arch your back, pressing your tits against his chest and smirking as he audibly swallows…well, they DO look pretty damn amazing in this get-up. His fingers slide beneath the beautiful, lacy cups of your bra to massage your breasts, his rough hands contrasted well with very soft skin- you bite back a cry when his thumbs flick over your hardening nipples, and soon he peels the bra away from you, tossing it to the floor. Cool air tickles your skin before the German inclines his head, licking at the skin mercilessly until you're practically keening in acute pleasure, a tingling building in the super-sensitive area. Instead of feeling exposed, you grin and press your knee against his crotch, already feeling a stiffness that only exacerbates when you rub it slowly, once, twice, three times. You draw your leg back and Ludwig groans in disappointment.

"Oh, sorry, were you enjoying that?"

Ludwig's eyes narrow.

"You are such a fucking tease."

"You'd better believe it," you say, panting.

The next moment, the room seems to spin and you're lying, bewildered, on your back, sinking into the plush material of the sofa. Ludwig stands over you with a smart as he begins undoing his belt, slowly, the rasping sound of leather dragging through the belt loops causing a shiver to run down from your scalp to the base of your spine. The look in his ice-blue eyes is pure predator. He undoes his pants and slides them off, leaving him in just a pair of Calvin Klein boxers you bought him recently- you don't recall the occasion, and with a sexy German man straddling you, how can you recall such a trivial detail?!

"Vell, two can play at zat game, mein liebling," Ludwig purrs with a smirk that reads Big Trouble.

Stretching forward a hand, Ludwig's fingers disappear beneath the lacy material of your panties and you let out a squeal as they press against your clit, rubbing agonisingly slowly, the same way you were doing before. You grip the cushion nearest you, fingers digging into it so hard you might just rip the fabric.

"Ah- fuck!" you yelp, automatically bucking your hips as he tauntingly kneads at your crotch. "Jesus!"

"I don't think he's here at ze moment," Ludwig snickers, clearly enjoying seeing you so flustered.

"Oh, you goddamn smartass- agh!" you shriek as Ludwig plunges his fingers into you, which is easy enough since by now you're pretty damn wet. You arch your back, a purr escaping you. "Mmmh…Ludwig, ah- harder!"

"Vell, if you insist."

He pushes in further, and then pulls back a bit, chuckling at your frustration reaction. His hand builds up a nice rhythm, making you whine and hiss as he alters the pace, just to taunt, it seems. Soon you're reduced to a panting mess as his fingers agonisingly tease you- however, not one to be completely undone, you push your foot against his crotch again, flexing your toes to tease him further.

"Ngh- damn it!" Ludwig hisses, tilting his head back at the sensation. By now, he's almost painfully hard. You yelp as you feel the pressure building up in the pit of your stomach climbs higher and higher.

"Fuck!" you shout, taking Ludwig by surprise. "Ugh- come on, Lud- I'm getting antsy!"

He smirks, despite his current condition.

"You've never had any patience…"

But it's all the encouragement he needs. Ludwig moves closer to you- you could feel his breath fanning like a gentle flame over your neck, and your underwear is rather unceremoniously yanked off you, as well, to join their brethren on the floor. His tongue licks your frantically-thrumming pulse and with the same stroke, he pushes himself inside you, making you squeal in the back of your throat…which quickly melts into a sigh as he rocks against you, the head of his member striking you in a truly fantastic place. His fingers are not idle, either, returning to toy with your clit as he growls, one arm wrapping around your back to pull you in, and you grin and grind your hips into his own, deliberately clenching around him and he swears, leaning down to press a hungry kiss to your lips, his free hand crawling down your side and squeezing your ass. You yelp a bit and give him a mock glare.

"Mph, you look so sexy vhen you do zat," Ludwig teases you, his voice thick and throaty as he pushes deeper inside you, making you cry out in pleasure.

"Oh, god, ngh- yes!" you pant, voice growing fainter as the tingling feeling from early graduates from a throb to your body basically pulsating in desire, the finishing line drawing closer and closer as Ludwig works his magic. "Lud, I, ooohhh…"

You couldn't even string together a coherent sentence anymore, but it didn't matter- the furious, pulsing heat was burning through you before overtaking you, like a wave knocking you out at the knees and sucking you in. The room was filled with gasps from both you and Ludwig as the pressure just got too damn much to bear. You shut your eyes, and white lights seemed to pop against your eyelids as you finally came, a gust of breath leaving you are you collapse against the sofa. Ludwig spat out your name as he, too, reaches his peak and comes, his voice a strangulated cry in your ear. He pulls out of you and flops by your side with a little cough, whether of pleasure or exhaustion is difficult to define. You, too, lie there mutely, panting hard, a ringing in your ears as you patiently wait for your heartbeat to slow down. You can feel Ludwig's muscular chest rising and falling against your back, and it's strangely comforting.

"Verdammt…zat vas…" Ludwig mumbles, foggily, lips moving against your skin as he presses a kiss to your shoulder blade.

"Just what you needed?" you ask, with a smirk.

"Somezing like zat…"

Ludwig chuckles a little under his breath, his cheek pressed against the pillow you were savaging with your nails only shortly before. You glance over at him, his body slick with sweat and feel a burst of fondness towards him. It's unexpected, but no less pleasant for it.

"So…" you wheezed, shifting over a bit and absently running your fingers through Ludwig's pale blonde hair, which has fallen out of its slick, neat style due to your previous fucking. "Can I keep the clothes, then?"

He makes a noise that could have either been a snort or a laugh, his eyes flickering shut and a wry smile on his face.

"Keep ze damn clothes…zzzz…"

You turn and stare at him. Is he… sleeping?!

Unbelievable.

You smirk and wriggle out from beneath Ludwig, taking a moment to admire him. He looks strangely cute when he sleeps, even with that rock-hard body. Something about the peacefulness of his expression, you suppose, since it's rare to see such a look on him when he's awake.

Pulling on your underwear, which is luckily not too far away from the sofa, you pad across the hallway and pull a spare blanket out of the airing cupboard, tossing it over Ludwig- you know he wouldn't be best pleased if he woke up on the sofa stark naked, even if it is only you who'd see it. Satisfied, you turn, pick up the dress and stroll back to the bedroom, a triumphant grin plastered across your face. As expected, he totally forgot all about your little spree. You glanced back at the sleeping German man, and chuckle under your breath before ducking back into your room.

"Sucker."


End file.
